Autism is so prevalent that most of us know an autistic person, or at the very least, we know something about autism spectrum disorder. That doesn’t mean we always know what to say or how to react when we encounter an autistic person.
In honor of Autism Awareness Month, we’ve put together a list of ways to relate to an autistic person. There are no rules that apply to everyone, of course, but there are ways that we can all be better prepared to meet the needs of autistic people and families affected by autism.
- Recognize differences: No one likes being compared to others, and those with a diagnosis of autism are no exception. Autism is a spectrum, where symptoms for one person may not occur in another. It’s important to remember that no two people are the same, and they certainly are not like characters from TV or movies.
- Be sensitive. Most like the term “autistic” over “having autism” as it gives them a sense of identity rather than a diagnosis. Stimming to them is also an ingrained response and gives them a way to regulate. Telling them to stop stimming is like telling them to stop being autistic.
- Be inclusive. Even though it may appear that autistic people often want to be alone, they usually don’t. They would like to be included and feel wanted. They don’t want to be “loners,” but sometimes they just need time to be alone and recharge. They want to be treated just like everyone else. They don’t want to feel less than human, and they don’t want to be treated as if they have a disorder. They tend to get trapped in their heads and feel they can’t talk about certain things such as what they need or want, their feelings, or when they are uncomfortable.
- Be direct. Understanding how each individual “ticks” can make relating to an autistic person a lot easier. For example, if you want an autistic person to do something, be specific. Explain what they need to do thoroughly, and step by step so that they can complete the task. When speaking to an autistic person, know that they are not trying to be mean, rude or inconsiderate. They don’t know how to decode people’s emotions and facial expressions as well as other people. And of course, avoid sarcasm. Autistic people typically understand humor, but sarcasm is very difficult most of the time. Be outright in saying something, rather than dance around a subject.
- Be supportive. Most importantly, don’t hold an autistic person back. They want to reach their fullest potential, just like anyone else. For example, they often prefer to write rather than speak face to face. Writing allows those with autism to think about what they want to say, whereas speaking forces them to think on the spot. They may not be as clear in what they want to say.
Getting to know the person with autism can help to understand them immensely.