Welcome back to the third segment of our “Preparing for a Successful Thanksgiving” series. In this segment we will be looking at setting your child up for success in interaction and conversation with family and friends.
Thanksgiving is a time that many of us visit with family and friends. Your child will probably be familiar with most of the people they will see, but what if they have to meet a new person? What if they don’t know what to say? Don’t worry! There are a few things you can do to set your child up for success.
We might as well start with the obvious: greetings and conversation. You may have heard the quote, “Good manners are the glue of society.” Whether you believe that or not, greetings and polite conversation are important. They help us meet new people. They help us learn new things. And they open us up to new experiences. For some this comes naturally, but for those with autism it may be a challenge. So how can we work on this?
1. Model: A good place to start is by rehearsing greetings at home. Decide on what type of greeting you want your child to use and then show them how to use it (model). Let’s say we pick something like, “Hi, Uncle George! How are you?” – a simple and polite greeting.
2. Educate: What you’ll want to do next is to talk about this with your child (educate). Where to look. Where to stand. How loud to be. Once you’ve talked about it, then comes the meat and potatoes – practice!
3. Practice: You greet him. Have him greet you. Have him greet dad. Have him watch you greet dad. Practice a lot! And as he is practicing, give him pointers about exactly what he is doing well and where he could improve. You’re already his biggest cheerleader so this should come naturally!
So, your child is getting confident with using greetings in rehearsal at home? Awesome! But what if they don’t know someone’s name at the party? We can work on that, too! A successful way for teaching new skills in the field of ABA is discrete trial teaching. In a discrete trial we are breaking a skill into its smaller parts. In this case, we can use a greeting, but we’re struggling with using the right name within that greeting. What we need to do is teach the names of the people he will see on Thanksgiving. We’re going to need pictures of family for this. Social media should make this pretty easy. Start with having him match pictures to other pictures. If he can do that, see if he can give you a specific person’s picture (e.g., “Can you find Uncle George?”). When he can do that, ask him to tell you who is in a picture (e.g., “Who is this?”). Once names are acquired, he’ll be ready to add a person’s name to his greeting arsenal and be the socialite of your Thanksgiving or any upcoming social event!
References:
Downs, A., Downs, R. C., Johansen, M., & Fossum, M. (2007). Using discrete trial teaching within a public preschool program to facilitate skill development in students with developmental disabilities. Education and Treatment of Children, 30(3), 1-27.
Zaragoza, N., Vaughn, S., & Mcintosh, R. (1991). Social skills interventions and children with behavior problems: A review. Behavioral Disorders, 16(4), 260-275.